Like pretty much everyone else, I’m a Project Runway addict. So shoot me. I claim to be a hip urban parent; I didn’t say I was a dead fish. I need my downtime too, you know.
I sat last night and watched the various designers have hissy fits while Michael — with that pained look on his face as if he needed Ex-Lax (and stat!) – poo-poo’d their, um, “dresses.”
And then, DING! The most fantabulous idear evah occurred to me: Ms. Klum is missing a golden opportunity to have her airbrushed urban mom face plastered on yet more billboards and merchandise.
Heidi, Heidi, Heidi… girl, think about it:
People looooove to watch hissy fits. On a regular basis, the designers have hissy fits as if they were 3 year olds. Michael has hissy fits as if he were a 3 year old (with constipation). Nina has hissy fits as if she were a bored 3 year old who desperately needs a haircut. And real 3 year olds have hissy fits, like…ALL the time.
Combine all of these hissy fits in one episode, and what do you have?!? WAH-LA! You have an episode screaming (pun intended) EMMY!
Despite the fact that gas is now $17.36 a gallon, there’s a growing market for designer kids clothes. We slick city fashionistas don’t want OUR children wearing anything with pink bunny appliques. No…Little Jack can pull on his Diesel jeans for that mudpie party at pre-school and Emme has that Ed Hardy t-shirt she can wear to her art class.
So there you have it: An episode waiting to be hatched. Bring on a bunch of sweet-faced 3 to 5 year olds. In the opening scene include a montage of parenting bliss: Kids sitting contentedly at the dinner table nibbling at their veggie burgers; little girls allowing their mommies to carefully brush their long locks with nary a fuss (or knot) in sight; and don’t forget the red-headed boy wrestling playfully with the litter of cocker spaniel puppies.
Then let the games begin. Present the herd of cranky, slobbering, opinionated pre-school “clients and models” to the diva designers and watch the fun.
Imagine the trip to Mood: The doe-eyed blonde girl and rocker designer Stella hashing it out over the polyester fabric with princesses and kitties (”Does you guys got anything with kitties in leathah?”).
Picture the workroom at Parsons, with Tim Gunn critiquing Suede’s couture onesie (”Frankly, I’m a little concerned about the lack of snaps at the crotch. Make it work!”).
Zoom in on the mop-headed boy as his designer Leanne (with tears in her innocent eyes) ducks his flying fists. Pan out on red-faced Blayne as he rolls on the ground with anger: His client just spilled bleepity-bleep APPLE JUICE all over his CREATION!
Cue the music as Nina Garcia aims her signature dart stare at the aforementioned little doe-eyed blonde: “You little b-tch,” her eyes flash as the darling girl hurls her Happy Meal. “How dare you projectile vomit on my new Armani!” (Nina, she’s a KID. She’s nervous on that catwalk!)
The winning design would be reproduced, ever so affordably, for H&M…under the new Klum’s Kouture Kids line, of course.
For gosh sakes, Heidi’s kids and hubby Seal can even be on the show as guest judges!
Heidi: If the “Hissy Fit” episode doesn’t happen in the current season, I think you need to dump your agent and hire me. H&M is waiting.
I’m a project runway addict too and not the least bit embarrassed by it (in fact it’s probably one of the classier shows that I watch- after all they did use “green” material yesterday).
Great idea to have a kid-centric challenge! YOu’re right I don’t know how Heidi hasn’t thought of it yet especially in this crazed celebrity kid environment. They could have Suri and Apple as guest judges.
Hey, thanks for the comment on my blog.
I think this idea is great! Last season they had the designers making dresses for high school girls. Maybe this year they will go even younger. Watch what happens, indeed.